HOMELESS

The Subway

Who would have thought the subway would become so important to me?

Who would have thought I’d be homeless and grateful to be living in a city that had a subway?

I was a highly paid account rep with an expense account, pricey condo and a fancy sports car, but that was six months ago. 

Then my company had a major downsizing and I was let go. 

Before long I couldn’t pay the rent on the condo or the lease on the car. 

I’d never been evicted before.  I’d never had a car repossessed.  I was in denial and ashamed. 

I went through the meager savings I had.

I had to learn how to use the subway so I could make job interviews.  I rented a large storage locker and put everything I owned in it. 

When I could no longer afford that locker I sold my furniture and got the smallest locker they offered.  In it went my clothes.  I needed them so I could be presentable for job interviews. 

I stayed with friends until I wore out my welcome.

One day I realized had to make a choice.  I could either pay the rent on the small storage locker and keep clothes I would probably never need again, or eat. 

I finally admitted to myself that I was homeless. 

I was sitting at a subway stop late one day, when another homeless man asked me if I had a place to stay.  I didn’t.  He showed me where the entrances were for the subway maintenance tunnels and then told me where the safest places were located.  He was a good man, sharing his knowledge of living on the streets.  

Once I’d never thought about using the subway and now it had become my home.

I’m not working and wonder if I ever will again. 

My unemployment is deposited on a government issued debit card.  It’s my only existence.  I can’t let anyone know I have it or it would be taken from me. 

Each day I come up from the tunnels, take a token from my worn pocket and ride the subway to the Labor Department. 

They used to welcome me, but now that I have no clean clothes to wear and probably smell, they quickly usher me out the door.  They aren’t rude but they want me gone so they handle my case expeditiously.

I’m discouraged.  How will I break this cycle? 

It’s lunch time so I head to the park outside the building where I used to work hoping to run into an old friend who might have a job for me.  Any job would be enough to get me out of the subway.  Today I get a free sandwich from a nice girl.  I smile, thinking  just six months ago I wouldn’t have given her the time of day and here she is keeping me from going hungry.

I enjoy the sun for a few minutes while I gobble down the gift, but then move on.  The police don’t take kindly to homeless people, especially in this part of town.

Slowly I walk to the nearest subway entrance and disappear into its depths.  I now know all the places to rest and where kind people will give me a bit of their loose change. 

Six months ago I wouldn’t have given a homeless person enough for a cup of coffee and now I’m one of those people. 

I would never have imagined the subway would become my transportation, home, workplace, my life.

When I get back on my feet, if I do, I vow I’ll treat people differently.  I’ll have more respect for them and what they’re going through.

I still have hope – for them and for me.

I hope those who are working ... whether it be online with Redgage, in an office or digging ditches.  Take a minute to think about the newly homeless and how easily it can happen.

http://rdonnalson.blogspot.com/2011/06/homeless.html